defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize