You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
