i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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