I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
