return my video game
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
