My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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