Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
