So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
