i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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