I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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