M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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