The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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