I want to have your abortion
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
