he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
