Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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