Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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