Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
