i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
