I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
