Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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