I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize