Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There are leaves in my underwear?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
