would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
