we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
