I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
