On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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