is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
