I think I died a long time ago.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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