Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

she looked like the bat from fern gully.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express

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(513): View more from Ohio

Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.

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(850): View more from Florida

Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh

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(254): View more from Texas

You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.

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