It's Friday. Sex?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
