Why is your signature on my underwear?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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