Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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