scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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