Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
