and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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