Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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