Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
