Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
