dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
