We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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