Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just gift wrapped bread.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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