My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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