Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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