what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
