bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
