East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize