11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
