My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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