1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
