would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
