what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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