Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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