my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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