there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
