White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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