What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
How's work?
Spinning.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
