I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
