I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
