Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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