Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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