i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
