I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
