just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
